They may not etch today’s accomplishments on memorial stone, but the thing is granite erodes anyways. And quiet people know it so we get up every day and we make the porridge and wash the underwear and pay the bills and tend to the hurting and we etch the love on the hearts, that which beats on without end and we pulse throughout the universe.

There’s a way to do work that lasts forever. Just do everything with love.

Responsive reading is a great virtue for all ages! You promote it by asking questions. If you’ve read the book that a child is reading you can ask detailed ones, but even if you haven’t read it you can ask, “Who’s your favorite character? Why? What do you like best about the book? What do you like least? Would you recommend this to anyone? Whom would you recommend it to? Why would you recommend it?” Just getting them to put their instinctive responses into words is a great way to encourage them to formulate those responses more precisely. –Alan Jacobs

I sometimes feel bad that I’m not reading more for my own enjoyment. I know so many people can make time for it, even in similar situations to my own, with kids and homeschooling and housekeeping. I just have a hard time finding opportunities. But reading this post at SouleMama (written actually by the Papa) was so sweet and encouraging to me on that front. If you have a minute, you should give it a read. I tend to need perspective like this quite often…

Meanwhile, here’s a question for you concerning this book: Do you know why a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz has a tail? I don’t either. And are the pink and white checks his clothes? Or his skin? Just a little fruit of my responsive reading with my youngest…

It has been influences like this book that persuade me not to stress about moments like these, but to enjoy them. (My kids have been really creative with “instruction” paper these days…I can’t convince them that it’s actually construction paper.)

Along the same lines, I read this recently from Nancy Wilson, as she summarized some things Spurgeon wrote about home. Give it a read…it’s nice and short, but very uplifting.

“Home, too, is the place of our truest and purest happiness.”

I’m pretty sure this is the last bit I have to post from P. And I kept putting it off, honestly, because for a long time I wasn’t sure if I agreed. So, this post has been sitting in my queue for months, but here it is.

Never let kids be disrespectful or display bad attitudes.  I told mine they may not

be happy with me on the inside, but don’t let it show on the outside, and never let them

talk to me with a bad tone of voice.

See how good I am at this? Just kidding.

I have to admit I struggled with this one for a while. I wondered if not accepting the display of bad attitudes would somehow promote hypocrisy in my children. Would they hide their bad attitudes from me? Would they let them fester and rot inside? Would it somehow put a wall between us? A few months ago, I read this, from John Piper and it all sort of made sense in my mind. See what you think:

No parents have the luxury of teaching their child nothing while they wait for his regeneration. If we are not requiring obedience, we are confirming defiance. If we are not inculcating manners, we are training in boorishness. If we are not developing the disciplines of prayer and Bible-listening, we are solidifying the sense that prayerlessness and Biblelessness are normal.

Inculcated good habits may later become formalistic legalism. Inculcated insolence, rudeness, and irreligion will likely become worldly decadence. But by God’s grace, and saturated with prayer, good habits may be filled with the life of the Spirit by faith. But the patterns of insolence and rudeness and irreligion will be hard to undo.

Wow.  If we’re not teaching one thing, then we’re teaching something else. I guess I just never looked at it like that before. Now, what to do about it?

We have realized that by communicating with our children, our fears about what was going on inside were slowly starting to subside. When conflict arises, we’ve sort of developed a series of questions to ask our kids after the lecturing/discipline has occurred, like: “Are you feeling sad or angry about all this? Because it’s okay to feel that way.” and “Is there anything you would like to ask or tell us? Because we want to hear you and help.”It’s easier for one of our kids to respond to this than it is for the other, but with a little probing, we can usually end a conflict with contented kiddos.

One evening our 5 yr old came down after everyone had gone to bed and said he had a question. He respectfully told us that he didn’t quite understand why his older sister got to read in bed and he didn’t. He said it seemed unfair and he just wanted to tell us. We had the sweetest time of explaining our decision to him and sent a happy boy back to his bed for a good night’s sleep.

So thanks, P…for making me think and for loving me enough to share your thoughts.

I also liked reading this. I imagine that when the time comes, letting go and trusting God’s grace in the lives of our children is difficult. We mothers can be such control freaks…yes?

Here is my girlie, having a conversation (for real!) with a robin that was out in our yard. They were talking back and forth for a good ten minutes. Until little brother scared the bird. Boys!

Let your kids be kids and give them time to develop their imaginations.  Don’t get them

involved in so many activities, even though they may be good activities, that they don’t have

time to dig in the dirt or play with dolls.  This will be hard to do because society dictates

otherwise.  It also puts more on you because you have to come up with some basic ideas,

but let them play.  I think we tend to expect kids to be little adults, and that’s not their role.

My kids aren’t even very old yet, and there are times when I already struggle with this.  And we’re homeschoolers, for crying out loud! Homeschoolers that will never be at home if we’re not careful. Yes, definitely good advice, especially for our family.  It never fails that when we start filling our time with lots of activities and not enough down time, someone gets sick or has a meltdown–Mom included.  (I’d rather avoid meltdowns, thank you very much.)

In all seriousness, some of the sweetest moments I’ve had with my kids thus far have been after a hard spell, when I’ve had to ask for their forgiveness. It’s always very humbling. But children are so full of unconditional love, forgiveness and acceptance. How many lessons we can learn from them!

This one is very high on my list and one of the hardest to do  –  be willing to say you’re

sorry to your children.  I’ve had to backtrack and ask forgiveness more times than I’m wanting

to confess.  I’ve had to do this for meting out unjust punishment to having a bad tone of voice,

and it never gets any easier, admitting I’m wrong.  It’s so much easier to defend myself, but

saying you’re sorry goes a long way toward softening someone’s heart.  I still don’t like to do

it,  because it’s so hard, but I think this is key toward developing a great

relationship with anyone.  You have to open yourself up and be vulnerable to their criticism,

but it’s totally necessary when we’re wrong, and sometimes even when we’re only partially

wrong.

This is one of the most precious memories I have with my dad, growing up. He was quick to come to me and ask for forgiveness, and yes, lots of times when he was probably only partially wrong (if at all). Still, he was more concerned about having hurt my feelings than he was about being right.  And those times made him more dear to me in my heart each time. I want my kids to know their feelings matter to me as well. Why is it so hard to say “I’m sorry?” My sweet little boy has told us on numerous occasions that he didn’t know grown-ups ever did anything wrong. “But Daddy, I never seen you sin.” Oh, how far from the truth!

As I keep my radar open for the need to seek forgiveness from my kiddos, I think it’s also important to remember that sometimes I’m not wrong. Sometimes the situation requires being firm and no one, let alone children, really enjoys discipline. But it’s a necessary thing. This next little gem sums it up.

Be friends with your kids, but always remember who the parent is and exercise discipline

when necessary without being afraid that they won’t like you.  Face it, they won’t always agree

with you, but your word is the final one.

Many of these little gems have taken hold and become part of my own parenting. Others, I seem to have forgotten and need to be reminded of. Still more haven’t become relevant yet, since the kids are still so young. However, I recently read the list again and have put one in particular into practice, just this week.

And here it is:

When a child makes a request, whether they’re 3 or 13, think it over quickly before

automatically saying no.  No came out of my mouth so quickly especially when they

were little, but you have to choose what’s important.  Running through Grandma’s house

isn’t nearly as important as a good attitude.  Say yes whenever possible so when you say

no they know it’s important.  I could have done much better in this department.

What perspective! I’m often characterized by saying ‘no,’ simply because whatever the request seems to be is not convenient for me. Maybe it’s messy, or requires some preparation that I think I don’t have time for. Maybe you’ve seen the post about  The Yes Face? It’s a sweet little story. And I have to admit that saying yes to a few extra things this week has made for a more contented household.

“Can we eat in the living room?”

“Can we play with play dough?”

“Can we paint?”

“Can we read in bed for a little while?”

“Can we eat cookies and oranges for breakfast?”

“Can we watch a movie?”

“Can we play tag in the house?”

I will not be a stick in the mud. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

There.

I said it. I’m sure I’ve even said it before on this blog a time or two. But I guess that’s the whole idea behind being reminded of something.

One of the kids came down recently and asked us why grown ups don’t really play like kids do. I realize there is nothing in this little question that should stir guilt or angst in my heart. (For some reason it still does, though.) It’s true. Grown ups don’t play as much as kids do. They have things to do that make it possible for kids to enjoy their little lives and play. There are responsibilities. But surely I can find a little time for play every now and then…

Here are a few things we’ve been doing lately that bring out the little kid in me:

Labyrinth. Super duper interesting and GREAT for thinking skills.

Mario Kart. Who doesn’t love Mario?

Blink. SO Fun

We did some resist painting this week, which was fun for all. It took no time at all to pull together and the kids were delighted with it. (Sometimes I kick myself for putting off activities that require almost no effort.)

I often need to pull out this book for some creative ideas about getting outside. I’ve come to realize there’s no shame in cracking a “how-to” book to aid you in entertaining your kids. It’s better than not doing anything with them, eh?

I just found this little printout with 10 Ways to Play in February via the Let’s Explore blog. I think we could easily find a way to do each and every one of these simple activities in the month of February, along with making some Valentines. They are stoked about that.

So go on, make a little time for play. Your kids will not forget these precious moments.

But back to mine…

1. Give my family more hugs. Specifically, 3 really good squeezes a day per person. That’s doable, right? Simple, but unfortunately something I forget to do. My family needs my touch.

2. Make a successful rack of lamb. I’m thinking this one.

This is my dad’s fire place. It is so cozy, and my grandfather made the owl that sits in there, watching over the family activity.

3. Pursue more consistent quiet times, accompanied by journaling. No specifics like every night or 4 times a week, just the word “consistent.” Lame? It’s the best I can do. Molly posted such an encouraging article about this very thing, along with a link to the Bible reading plan for Shirkers and Slackers. My QTs will be based on the passages that our church is studying at the time. I feel like this is the best way for me to engage myself  in the Word, and in our corporate church meetings.

4. I just finished reading this book that my husband got me for Christmas. It has been so refreshing…not a whole lot of new stuff, just some great perspective and encouraging commentary about stuff I needed to be reminded of. Make sense?  It has resulted in my determining to bathe my mothering in a lot more prayer. Everyday, I need wisdom, self control, patience, and kind words. Even since coming to this profound realization (once again!), little whispered prayers in the midst of tiny storms have been providing so many of the elements that my kids need from me. Proof positive that I cannot do this alone.

This is my dad’s fireplace after my kids had been there for about 5 minutes. More cozy? Or less? Depends on the person, I guess.

5. Also, I’m going to get in the habit of exercising. Using the buddy system,  I’m embarking on an exercise regimen in pursuit of a more healthy me.