Just One More Thing
I struggle constantly with letting things go. I think to myself, “I can do one more thing before I play with the kids…” I just can’t seem to relax when things are undone. But my aim is to be able to let things go from time to time.
I don’t want the kids to remember that I was always cleaning, cooking, gardening, sewing (all things I love–except for cleaning!) instead of taking time to hear what they had to say or see what they wanted to show me or play a game or have a conversation. There’s even a song about this kind of thing, so my guess is that I’m not alone in this.
Recently, UNO has been an avenue in which to do this very thing. My kids and I have been enjoying a little tournament and it’s been very freeing to stop whatever I’m doing (on my own terms– I’m still working on this, people) and squeeze in a game or two. I think we all benefit from a little friendly competition during our day, and I definitely don’t want to turn around tomorrow and have grown kids that don’t feel like they were as much of a priority as say, a clean kitchen.
…I’ll be there in a minute
Just a few places to go.
You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown.
And everything is important ; But everything is not.
At the end of your life your relationships are all you’re got.
And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say, I’ve got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say,
Nothing will come between me and you, Not even one thing…
How do you let go of that “one more thing?”
You have chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from you.
Brilliant! You are a great mother.
Honestly, for me it is the opposite. I fear that as my children look back on my life they will see someone who was all fun and play and no hard roll-up-your-sleeves kind of work. I walk a fine line with idleness/laziness. The better post for me would be how to keep in balance. Give yourself some credit…the kids really do appreciate the orderliness and tidiness of your kitchen, of your whole home. My mother-in-law is one of those exceptionally clean people. Nothing is EVER out of place, there’s always a 3 course meal on the table, always made from scratch, there is never a dish in the sink…I will say this is at the expense of having time for people, but my husband is always saying what a great job his mother did of keeping their home when he was a boy (in India during the 80’s mind you- his early years included a concrete floor and no hot running water- can you imagine?) I think we come to appreciate both the fun times and the hard work our parents do for us over time- probably even equally. One thing I am learning is that if I allow Abby to “help” with the house chores, it’s more fun for both of us! Ok enough writing…time to get busy!!
It’s funny, reading the last comment, I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of mom I want to be in regards to that balance. Going back to the Little House books (part of the base for my moral compass it seems) I see the value in giving heavy responsibility to kids for the household work and also see the danger in making the day all about them and what they want to do. It will come as a surprise to them one day that life is not like that-the world is not out to do what they want at any given moment.
But, yes, Gina, I agree with you, it is so important to stop your agenda and pour into what’s going on in those little hearts. I definitely don’t want to err on the side of not giving enough attention.
I read an article on The Well Trained Mind website recently about “does go and play really mean go away?” I think, for me, sometimes it does. You’re right, Bethany. Better to learn early on that life does not revolve around ‘me.’ And that hard work is part of life. And kids that are overly-entertained might come to expect or demand it. (not good–just annoying) I am more inclined to stop and do something with the kids at my own suggestion these days. I think to myself, “Well, if they’re not asking me, then I can surely squeeze in more chores…” But sometimes there are other signs that we need some together time, such as bickering, whining, or a kid that is wandering from room to room doing nothing.
Usually a quick game, or a few minutes of coloring or reading together, and everyone’s happy and ready to be on their own again. As cliche as it sounds, I think it really IS about balance. Not a thing wrong with telling your kids ‘no’ or ‘not right now.’ But I can usually tell when I’ve been saying it too much.
Natalie, I think the time will come when you will feel the urgency of housework. Seems the more kids I have, the quicker things can get turned upside down around here. My housework and routines have shifted over the years from “getting around to it eventually” to “I better get this done before someone starts puking.” ‘Cause there’s nothing fun about puking in a dirty bathroom, or having no clean sheets to replace the ones that just got puked on. Can you tell I have a certain stomach-virus phobia???
Thanks for the input, ladies!
Gina – this is AWESOME! Thank you for the reminder. I very wise woman at my church reminds us new Moms often that it is quality, not quantity, that children crave. I have found that to be very true. Five to ten minutes of my undivided attention goes a long way with my sweet boys. xo
PS – thank you for your SUPER sweet comment on Pure and Noble today. Glad you are enjoying mine as much as I enjoy yours.
Thanks Gina! Right now at our house we are working on cleaning up one big toy before another one comes out. Today it was put away the big legos before we get out the wooden train. The train was on a high shelf and Abby was standing at the base of it screaming and pointing TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN! I was in the living room waiting for her to help clean up. She had a little meltdown, then realized I was NOT going to get out the train until the blocks were put away…a light bulb went off, she helped me clean up and then we played train.
About 30 minutes before this happened, grandma came and gave Abby a biscuit. I had to meet a plumber outside and stuck her in her crib for a moment with the biscuit…MISTAKE! I came back to biscuit crumbs mashed all over her bed. I opened the dresser drawer and breathed a sigh of relief that I still had a set of clean crib bedding. I changed the sheets, put her back in the crib, and marched in the basement to throw a load of linens in the wash. So ya…household chores are shifting around here already….but I am secretly hoping it won’t take more kids to iron out my wrinkles. Daniel is the kind of infant that makes you want to have 10 more, but I really really feel content with 2.